Going soft during sex or having a soft penis can be a huge mood killer. It can not only cause a disruption in the pleasure plans of both partners. But it can also be an embarrassing sexual disorder. Are you wondering why your penis goes soft during sex? You’re not alone.
Going soft during sex is a common experience for many men. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the causes of going soft during sex. The blog will further offer some tips on how to stay hard and keep your erection going strong. We will also look into why the penis loses stiffness during sex. This will help you understand what is happening in your body and how to deal with it.
There could be a number of reasons. Continue reading to find out the answer to the question, “Why does my penis get soft during sex?” and how to ensure your penis isn’t softening as you go in.
Understanding the Male Sexual Response Cycle
During sexual activity, the male sexual response cycle occurs. It is a complex process. It can be helpful to understand this cycle in order to comprehend better why your penis may go soft during sex.
The sexual response cycle consists of four main phases:
- excitement
- plateau
- orgasm
- resolution.
During the excitement phase, sexual arousal increases. The body prepares for sexual activity. This includes increased blood flow to the genital area, resulting in a firm and erect penis.
However, sometimes things don’t go as planned, and the penis may become flaccid or soft during sex. This can be frustrating and disappointing for both partners. Several factors can contribute to this. These include performance anxiety, stress, fatigue, relationship issues, or medical conditions.
Occasional episodes of going soft are normal and don’t indicate a problem. If it happens often and affects your ability to enjoy sex, it’s worth looking into why.
Understanding the male sexual response cycle can help you identify patterns and triggers that may be contributing to your difficulty maintaining an erection. To improve your sexual experiences and have a better sex life, address these factors and seek support.
Why Do I Get Soft During Sex?
If you’re experiencing loss of erection during sex, it’s important to understand how the process works. Erections involve a complex interplay between the brain, blood vessels, nerves, and hormones, typically starting with sexual arousal or excitement in the brain.
As a result of this stimulation, blood flow into the penis increases while blood flow out of the penis decreases. This change in blood flow leads to increased pressure, causing the penis to become rigid. However, if you’re unable to maintain this pressure buildup or blood flow, you may experience loss of erection. This could be due to an issue in any part of this process.
Does Losing An Erection During Sex Indicate ED?
Experiencing loss of erection during sex does not necessarily indicate that you have erectile dysfunction (ED), although it could be a potential sign. ED is a multifaceted condition, and difficulty maintaining an erection during sex is just one manifestation.
If you have only experienced occasional loss of erection during sex, it may not be a persistent issue. However, if it occurs frequently, there is a higher likelihood that you have ED. The inability to attain an erection in the first place is another symptom of ED. If you are experiencing either of these symptoms, it may be an indication of ED.
Regardless of the frequency or severity of your symptoms, if you are concerned about the loss of erection or how it is impacting your sex life, it is advisable to seek advice from a medical professional.
Causes of Losing An Erection During Sex
Multiple things could be causing you to lose your erection during sex. Some of them could be:
Sexual Performance Anxiety
It can lead to anxiety and decrease your performance if you are concerned about not being good enough in bed. A study concluded that performance anxiety was closely linked to sexual dysfunction in both men and women). There are many things that can cause performance anxiety. These thoughts may run through your mind and cause anxiety:
- What if it’s not easy?
- Do I have to finish my work early?
- Does my partner think that I am hot?
- Is my junk the right size?
- Am I good at bedtime?
- Can I have an orgasm with my partner?
Performance anxiety can also be triggered by porn. Here’s how it works: When you are having sex and suddenly think about a movie you just watched, your partner or yourself may begin to compare their reactions.
Negative Thoughts
Negative thoughts about your body can lead to performance problems and a flaccid penis. A study on male military personnel below 40 years old found that a third of them suffered from ED due to their genitals. Anxiety can actually affect your ability to have an erection.
You see, nervous feelings can trigger your sympathetic nervous system, which constricts blood vessels. Additionally, stress hormones like epinephrine (norepinephrine) and cortisol flood the system. This makes it difficult to get an erection.
Too Much Drinking
Whiskey dick – Have you ever heard of it? It makes sense; alcohol is a depressant. It is essentially a temporary type of erectile dysfunction that results from excessive drinking. Drinking too much can cause you to drink more. Drinking too much can cause damage to your central nervous system and cardiovascular system.
One thing that can happen is there’s a delay in information going from your brain to the other parts of the body. This includes your penis.
One study examined people suffering from chronic alcohol dependence and found that sexual dysfunction is common.
The research was limited to people suffering from alcohol dependence. However, it is worth noting that anyone can over-indulge at any given time and cause temporary ED.
Medication
A review of research found that 25 percent of ED can be attributed to the medication.
- Beta-blockers: These types of medications can reduce certain hormones, such as adrenaline, to slow down the heart. Side effects include tiredness, cold fingers, and erectile dysfunction. One study showed that beta-blockers might psychologically cause ED.
- Hydrochlorothiazide: Also known as HCCTZ, this drug works by helping the kidneys eliminate excess water and salt. ED can be caused by its high doses.
Sex Treatments to Help You Stay Hard During Sex
You should take action if you feel flaccid. Continue reading to learn how you can address your soft or hard situation.
Therapy
Going soft during head can lead to you getting soft during sex, and that is why Cognitive behavioral therapy or sex therapy might help if performance anxiety is the root cause of your problem. Talking to your therapist about your anxiety is a good idea. Together, they can come up with solutions.
CBT is a treatment that focuses on the unhelpful and problematic behaviors in your life. Working with a CBT therapist will help you identify and develop coping strategies. You can either go alone or with a partner if you’re interested in sex therapy. When you begin, it’s likely that you will be asked about your sexual history, beliefs, and concerns in the bedroom.
Erectile Dysfunction Treatments
There are many prescription ED medications that you can choose from. These are the most popular:
- Sildenafil
- Tadalafil
- Avanafil
These drugs open up your blood vessels, increasing blood flow to the penis. Talk to a healthcare professional if you are interested in taking an ED medication.
Premature Ejaculation Treatments
Anxiety about finishing early is not unusual. If your anxiety is severe, it can make you feel weak. This is more common than you might think.
Research shows that thoughts about sexual performance anxiety and premature ejaculation are closely linked.
Talk to your healthcare professional if this appeals to you. You may be able to take a prescription medication from the selective serotonin receptor inhibitors class. Although this type of prescription medication is commonly used to treat depression, it has been shown that SSRIs can also be helpful in premature ejaculation.
Another option is to use anesthesia cream or spray. These can cause desensitization which will allow you to last longer. The Delay Spray For Men should be used 10 minutes prior to sex.
The Final Thought
In order to stay hard during your sexual intercourse, you need to find out what is actually causing you to go soft. First, determine why are you going soft during sex. What is making your penis feel so soft? Could it be performance anxiety? Perhaps you had a little too much alcohol. You could also be taking blood pressure medication.
Talking to a healthcare professional about your experiences is a great idea. They will help you find the best treatment. There are several options for treatment, including ED medication and premature ejaculation.
References
- Rowland DL, van Lankveld JJDM. Anxiety and Performance in Sex, Sport, and Stage: Identifying Common Ground. Front Psychol. 2019 Jul 16;10:1615. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01615. PMID: 31379665; PMCID: PMC6646850. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01615/full
- McCabe, M. P. (2005). The role of performance anxiety in the development and maintenance of sexual dysfunction in men and women. International Journal of Stress Management, 12(4), 379–388. https://doi.org/10.1037/1072-5245.12.4.379
- Sherrie L. Wilcox, PhD, CHES, Sarah Redmond, BA, Teaniese L. Davis, PhD, Genital Image, Sexual Anxiety, and Erectile Dysfunction Among Young Male Military Personnel, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, Volume 12, Issue 6, June 2015, Pages 1389–1397, https://doi.org/10.1111/jsm.12880
- Ayada C, Toru Ü, Korkut Y. The relationship of stress and blood pressure effectors. Hippokratia. 2015 Apr-Jun;19(2):99-108. PMID: 27418756; PMCID: PMC4938117. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4938117/
- Arackal, Bijil Simon; Benegal, Vivek. Prevalence of sexual dysfunction in male subjects with alcohol dependence. Indian Journal of Psychiatry 49(2):p 109-112, Apr–Jun 2007. | DOI: 10.4103/0019-5545.33257 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2917074/
- Keene LC, Davies PH. Drug-related erectile dysfunction. Adverse Drug React Toxicol Rev. 1999 Mar;18(1):5-24. PMID: 10401520. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10401520/
- Rajkumar RP, Kumaran AK. The association of anxiety with the subtypes of premature ejaculation: a chart review. Prim Care Companion CNS Disord. 2014 Jul 31;16(4):10.4088/PCC.14m01630. doi: 10.4088/PCC.14m01630. PMID: 25664211; PMCID: PMC4318671. https://www.psychiatrist.com/pcc/anxiety/anxiolytics/association-anxiety-subtypes-premature-ejaculation/
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